I prefer to wear floral dresses, boys must open doors and pay on the first date, I cross my legs, I will put a napkin on my lap, I chew with my mouth closed, I am obedient, I hate people who spit, I floss my teeth, I say please and thank you, I give up my seat on the bus for the handicap and senior citizens, I always tip at least 15%, I say excuse me, I am overly emotional, I like to dance, I am never tardy, I don't put my elbows on the table, I love wearing lipstick, I love fashion, I constantly watch chick-flicks, flowers make me smile
I have a bad temper, I hate tea, I prefer beer over wine, rum over vodka, I swear like a sailor, I burp a lot and think it's funny, I fart and I think it's funny, I think farting noises in general are really funny, I like action films, I know how to throw a punch, I have kissed too many boys, I should probably shave more frequently, I don't brush my hair everyday, I only wear make up on special occasions, I don't cook, I don't clean, I am extremely messy, I bite my nails, I chew my lip, I crack my knuckles, I can rap "Superman" by Eminem off by heart, I eat too much fast food, I hate fruit, I stopped playing with Barbies at 6.
Clearly I am not the typical 17th century lady and nor should you be. This is the 21st century ladies! And if you're confused what it means to be a lady well it doesn't mean you have to wear pink, cook meals for your husband when he comes home from work or even have children. Here I have created for you rules to being a modern lady.
10 Rules For Being a Modern Lady
1. I will not call another woman a slut, whore, tramp, slag or prude:
If a girl is sleeping with the entire football team good for her for challenging sexual norms. After the sexual revolution you'd think that these terms would have disappeared. It's time that "player" isn't known as a positive term and "slut" as a negative term. If you want to have sex, do it. If you don't want to have sex, don't. It's a females right to wait for the right person if she wants to and if she wants to lose her virginity to the guy she met at the bar with the awesome beard let her be. If a girl is sleeping with your boyfriend (also refer to rule #10) and she did not know that he was in a relationship LEAVE HER ALONE. If she did know that your boyfriend had a girlfriend well she is not a modern lady and should be burned at the stake (kidding) you are dating him not her. If she isn't your friend she probably doesn't owe you anything and the only person you should be getting mad at is your boyfriend, who clearly is a douche canoe and you should dump him immediately. If she was your friend then it's time to yell a few curse words and drop her as a friend.. pronto.
2. I will not call another woman ugly or fat
If you have ever been called ugly or fat please raise your hand (I raised my hand as well). I have been called every word in the book and it doesn't feel nice. I'm sure at least once in your life you have been called ugly, even Megan Fox has! I'm also sure at least once in your life you have called another female this. Stop. If you know how much it hurts to be called these words will it really make you feel better if you say it to them? All women are beautiful and all women have beautiful bodies. A lot of people have misconceptions about obese women. Not every woman can help that they are overweight. Some have thyroid problems, some it's nearly impossible to lose the weight no matter how many times a week they go to the gym or how many Big Mac combos they skip out on. Stop thinking that these people who are visually overweight aren't healthy. Even if they aren't trying to lose weight, who cares! It isn't your body so stop judging theirs. Everyone's body is beautiful even your friend with the webbed toe has a beautiful body so stop thinking otherwise!!!
3. I will love my body no matter what the scale tells me
I personally have had issues with my weight. I was a chubby toddler and would be told constantly how fat I was, not fun. When I grew up I was always curvier than most girls, I had hips when I was 11 and people would call me the girl with the awkward huge hips (birth will be easier for me!) In Grade 7 I was around 125 and by the ninth grade I only weight 98 pounds and for my height and body type my BMI was not healthy. I then gained weight over a few months and jumped to 130. I knew that I wasn't overweight but I knew that gaining that much weight in a few months wasn't healthy so I went to the gym. The trainer told me that I was 10 pounds overweight. I'm 130 pounds and you are telling me I am overweight, is this a joke? After that, I do not trust gyms. I like to eat what I eat and if I don't feel like working out that is my choice. I recently went to the doctor and stepped on the scale and I'm currently around 140 and my doctor told me that for my height and weight that I'm at a perfectly healthy BMI (Take that Gym Brat!)
4. I will not look down on people who are less fortunate than me
I'm not rich. I'm a student who has to pay rent, who pays groceries, who is steadily increasing in debt but I still know there are people out there less fortunate than me. I will not judge them because they have to pick up a welfare check, I do not know what they have gone through or what their circumstance is. A huge reason I started this blog was to help people who don't have a lot of money in their bank understand that you can too look nice and feel great without spending a lot of money. I love Value Village and GoodWill they have amazing pieces that you can find and I want to encourage those women that just because you don't have a choice where you shop that you can find great pieces anywhere
5. I will not judge those with different lifestyles than mine
If you want to get so drunk you pee on the streets, do it. If you want to do drugs with Iggy Pop go ahead. If you want to drop out of school and join the circus be my guest. As long as you aren't out murdering innocent people then go off and do your thing I won't join you, but I won't judge you.
6. I will stand up for myself
Hi I'm Summer and I have a temper. I don't get mad often but when I do I get really mad. I use it to my advantage though because a lot of people just know they shouldn't say bad things about me or my friends because well... I get angry. I will stand up for what I believe in whether or not you believe in it, whether or not you think I'm pretty, whether or not you like the way I style my hair I will stand up for myself and if you don't like it you better get the hell out of my way. Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life, stand up for yourself woman!
7. I will dress how I want not how others want me to dress
I have a very eclectic closet. One day I will dress like Lucille Ball and the next day I could be dressed as Courtney Love. I dress completely depending on my mood. I have had a lot of people and friends question the way I dress but I don't really care because I know my style is all me and if you have something to say refer to Rule #6. I have also had a lot of people compliment the way I dress because let's face it I have a great closet. Dress how you want to dress and not how people tell you to dress.
8. I will respect my elders
One thing that I think NEEDS to be in the modern rule of ladies is to respect your elders. Wow.... how I have walked into a friend's house and seen how some of my friends treat their parent's. I will go to the grocery store and see a five year old swear at their mother. One thing in my household is you respect your parents and that's that you do not question it. Respect or GTFO. Your parents are the ones who put you here, whether or not you agree with what they are saying you shut up and you nod your head and you listen to them because they have lived on this planet a hell of a lot longer than you so you respect them or I'll be coming after you.
9. I will eat what I want and not have others make me feel bad about it
I like food. If you like food like me, whoever tells you what you are eating is bad for you they can flip off. I love greasy food. I don't have a sweet tooth I have a grease tooth. People tell me I eat unhealthy well that's for me to decide. I don't like fruit, so I'm not going to eat it. If I get high cholesterol or whatever I will deal with it I know it's unhealthy how I eat but I like the way it tastes so I will eat it. I also eat healthy mind you, it's not like I ignore broccoli and asparagus they are among my favourite food - but when I am eating 17 cartons of McDonalds fries please keep commentary to yourself thank you.
10. I will not sleep with boys who have girlfriends
As you may have read Rule #1 ladies shall not call each other sluts. But, if you are sleeping with boys who have girlfriends you are probably going to hear some nasty words. There are a katrillion billion zillion single boys out there why do you have to go for the one that isn't? I don't care if he is calling you pretty and that he loves you - he is saying that to his girlfriend and it looks like he doesn't love either of you. He is playing not only the girlfriend but you as well. I have been cheated on by almost every boy I have ever dated and it isn't a good feeling. The funny thing about it though is majority of the girls my boyfriends have cheated on me with... I became friends with because we realized BOTH of us were getting played. Except for one girl who would hangout with my then- boyfriend and I on numerous occasions, I had actually confronted her a few times if she had feelings for him and she said no...then they banged, and if you refer to Rule #6 I will stand up for myself. If you had absolutely no idea that this boy you were fooling around with had a girlfriend then okay you are not a bad person and this boy needs a can of whoop ass, but if you were aware... you are not a lady and you need to smarten up!
Do you agree with the Rules of the Modern Lady? Would you change or add anything?